MyMilitaryLife App

As a military family, we experience major life events that we don't always know how to handle. Heck, marrying into the military is a life event in itself. You don't just get married, you also take on a whole new lifestyle.

So, now what? You've gotten married. Your new, married, military spouse life is exciting, yet a little scary. There's so much you don't know! You vaguely know where your spouse works, but what exactly is his command? What's the LES thing you've heard about and what is this weird alphabet they use?

The National Military Family Association wants to help. Founded in 1969, they are the leading non-profit organization focusing on issues important to military families. Their mission is to fight for benefits and programs that strengthen and protect Uniformed Service families and reflect the Nation's respect for their service. 

The National Military Family Association already has a great website, but now they've got an even better app. MyMilitaryLife is a new app created to help military spouses navigate the many adventures of military life.

Download the app (it's free!!), answer a few basic questions, and get answers to all your questions. 

Are you newly married and just need to know the basics?

Or maybe you are PCSing. Whether it's the first time or the fifth, moving with the military doesn't get easier.

You've just found out your spouse is deploying. It never gets easier hearing those words. Now what? How do you prepare yourself? How do you get ahold of your husband's command if the need arises? 

Whether active duty, reserve, or guard, the MyMilitaryLife app can be helpful for all branches of the military.  

Download the free app from iTunes or Google Play. 

A Salute to Military Wives

In honor of military spouses.

Military Spouse Appreciation Day

May 10, 2013

Via: Your Local Security

Our Lavish Lifestyle - Part 2

So yesterday, I wrote this big long piece (you could call it rambling) in response to this article. I tried my best to stick to the facts, but it's hard not to get emotionally involved. 

After ten years or being at war, it's a given that the budget is going to be cut. I think we all understand that. Our military has faithfully gone to war, no questions asked, and done what their government has asked of them. Many of these men and women made numerous trips to Iraq or Afghanistan  My husband made three. I know some who made more trips and others who went less. Either way, they all did their part. While they were gone, their wives waited at home, taking care of the kids, the house, and anything that happened to come up. Babies were born without their fathers there. Parents missed birthdays, anniversarys,  holidays, and countless other important events. Marriages were tested and some failed. It was a hard, stressful time for everyone. 

Now these service members have been to war, not once but multiple times. They have seen things that they average person will never see. They have seen their friends blown up and shot at. They themselves have been shot at and blown up. They come back home with completely understandable issues from all this. All they ask is for their government to take care of them because of the job they have done to take care of their country. 

But what does our government do? It waves a dismissive hand and goes about it's business. They could care less about the men and women who so selflessly sacrificed more than I can even know, to do a job that so many of their fellow citizens don't care about or understand. Then those same Americans have the nerve to say they have been living a lavish lifestyle while being at war for ten years. 

During WWII, the whole country sacrificed to help the men at war out. The entire country. What does our country do now? They go about their business of watching pointless TV shows, refreshing their Facebook pages, and gong about their regular business. No one cares about the members of the military or that they are doing their best to prevent another attack on our soil. 

Ten years of war and just when we are trying to go back to normal, the government decides that the aids we need to get there are not entirely necessary. Counselors for the military member to cope, counselors to help save/fix their marriage after such long separations, counselors for their kids to understand, suicide prevention,  affordable medical care, rehabilitation for the wounded, and an easy transition to the civilian life.

My Facebook feed makes me think all Americans support the military and what they are doing. My Facebook is obviously biased. When I venture out on the internet and read other things, I see the other's opinions. People who are all for cutting the defense budget, because who needs more tanks. People who think the military are all just killing machines. People who just flat out don't understand all the sacrifices the military and their families put up with to get the job done. I just wish the American people supported the military. You don't have to support the cause to support the fighter. I feel like people read articles like this and just assume it's correct. If everyone made as much as the article states, everyone would be lining up to join, but we all know that's not true. It's our job to get the truth out there. I like this lifestyle and I can't even begin to describe how proud I am of my husband and the rest of the military. I just wish everyone else was just as proud.

My Response to Our So Called Lavish Lifestyle

There is an article on The Huffington Post titled Defense Budget Faces Cuts To Personnel After Decade of War. When I read the article yesterday, it was titled After a Decade of Lavish Benefits, Military Personnel Fear Cuts. Those two titles say completely different things. Of course there are going to be budget cuts after a decade of war. That's obvious. The military fearing their lavish lifestyle is going to be cut back? That's a load of shit.

I've read numerous blog posts by military wives with their own thoughts on this article. Some were emotional, some were just the facts. I'll try to stick with the facts. I wasn't going to post anything about it, but I realized that a lot of my readers aren't connected to the military. They may not be familiar with our lifestyle, so I'll inform you. You might want to read the article first. 

First of all, the author states many things that are either untrue or misleading. Yes, in the past decade military pay did soar, but that's because in the previous decades, military pay was way behind that of it's civilian counterparts. The soaring was just to catch up. 

In the past decade, housing has been refurbished. For the most part, all military bases have family housing on them. There are some single family homes (mostly reserved for higher ranking officers and some enlisted), duplexes, multiplexes, and apartment buildings. A lot of this housing was built decades ago and has never been updated. In Okinawa, I'm guessing the housing was built in the 50's and 60's. Some have now been condemned. Only in the past couple years have they started to remodel them. At our last base, the housing was built in the 40's. When we moved there, the housing was exactly the same as it had been when my husband lived there in the early 80's as a child. It needed to be updated. You can't get around that. If there is not enough room on base, people are allowed to live off base and collect a housing allowance. The allowance varies by area and is meant to cover rent/mortgage and basic utilities, since that is what is paid for on base. Most people pay more out of pocket than what they receive for housing. We received around $1100 at our last duty station. That's not ridiculous for a mortgage and utilities.

The pay. It's public knowledge, but you can check the pay chart out here. The author came up with ridiculous situations and numbers for his pay examples. I would say the average person in the military is an E-5 with 6 years in. That person makes $2707 a month. That's $32,484 a year. That may be reasonable if you are single, but if you have a spouse and kids? Good luck. Because the pay is so low, many military members qualify for WIC and some even qualify for food stamps. Since June 2011, military members have redeemed over $101 million in food stamps. Also, most people work 10-12 hour days. They pull overnight duty, including 24 hours on weekends, at least once a month. When they are deployed, the hours are closer to 14-16 a day, 7 days a week. There isn't extra pay for that. It's part of they job. 

Speaking of deployments  When they deploy, they do get paid extra. There is family separation pay, combat pay, and hazardous pay. It's about $600 extra a month. Would you take an extra $600 a month to be shot at and blown up? I wouldn't. Deployments can run anywhere from 6 to 18 months. No thank you. 

One of the awesome benefits is free health insurance. It's only awesome because we don't have to pay for it. For most normal, routine stuff, it's not a problem. I actually love my kids pediatrician now. However, I once took my then 4 year old to the ER when he had super bad stomach pains. It was decided he had a retracted bowel. They did no tests on him, none, they diagnosed him on my description. He was then sent to a civilian hospital, where one ultrasound later, it was determined that his appendix was about to burst and it was promptly removed. I gave birth to one child in a military hospital, one in a civilian hospital. Night and day. People wondered why I was opposed to Obamacare (besides the obvious). It's because people will get crap care and have to wait for everything. Tricare is fine if you aren't sick, otherwise, be careful. We aren't allowed to sue if they screw up.

The military does have a lot of other benefits that aren't always considered. We have a store on base that's kinda like a non-super Wal-Mart. Prices get jacked up though, especially overseas when we don't have lots of other options. We also have a grocery store, the commissary. They aren't out to make a profit, so prices are normally reasonable. There are family centers that host a multitude of activities for family's and kid's, but they cost us most of the time. Tuition assistance was given to help active duty go to school. It's gone now though, thanks to budget cuts. There are daycare centers on base, but they cost just as much as the daycare's outside the gate and there is always a wait list. There are a lot of counseling services offered. These are free. They are used, though, for PTSD and other problems that come from being at war for so long. They are also used to help marriages that have the added stress of moving and long separations. 

There are a lot of positives to joining the military. However, we all know that no one joins for the money. I understand articles are going to be written, but inform yourself before you do. This entire article is misleading and just written from someone who doesn't know, or frankly care to know, about the lifestyle the military leads. If there is something lavish that I've missed, please tell me! 

Operation: Hi Honey!

I picked up my mail today to find a pretty big box from Canvas on Demand. Thanks to the huge sticker on the front, I knew exactly what it was. 

While hubby was deployed, I sent him a link for a program called Operation: Hi Honey. Basically, deployed service members can have a canvas, with the picture of their choice, sent to their spouse for their anniversary. A note is also written to the spouse and sent along with the canvas.

I kinda cheated and sent the link to hubby, but he did the rest himself! For some reason, I don't remember if I read it somewhere or not, I was expecting an 8" x10" canvas. Perfectly good size. I was shocked when I opened the box to find a 24" x 14" canvas. It's huge! I cheated and checked the pricing on their page. This is a special order size and costs $91. You better believe I'm going to let them know how wonderful they are.

This is a picture from our wedding. We didn't have professional pictures taken. One of hubby's coworker's wives took the pictures. She did an excellent job, but afterwards she just gave us a disc with all the pictures. I never ordered anything larger than an 8" x 10" because I wasn't sure how they would look. Let me just say that this baby looks good! 

If you know anyone who has a deployed spouse, send them this link! This is a wonderful thing the company does and I couldn't be happier with the outcome.

Deployment Weight

You know those women who always lose weight when their husbands are gone? Yeah. I hate them. I had 7 months and all I wanted to do was lose like 10 pounds. I gained about 6 pounds. 

I don't like to exercise and it's no fun to cook when you are cooking for two little kids who don't appreciate it. I was doing decent with exercising though, much as I hate it. I got a decent jogging stroller and would walk an hour or so as many days a week as I could. The end of January, I completely threw my back out. I picked Little Missy up one day and felt it, but it wasn't that bad. As the day wore on, it got worse. The next morning, I sat up to get out of bed and just about screamed. It took me a good 15 minutes to get out of bed and get to the doorway of my bedroom. I somehow managed to pass out twice along the way. I've had children. I think I know pain, but this was worse than childbirth. I neighbor was nice enough to take me to the ER and then watch my kids. The ER gave me a shot in the butt and a prescription (which they made me walk to the pharmacy to get, evil doctors) and sent me on my way. Almost three months later, I was still having pain. It was always there, but it wasn't as painful anymore. The pain was just more annoying than anything. I couldn't run, I couldn't walk fast, and most days the walk to the bus stop was almost too much.

I finally made a doctor appointment. She sent me to get an x-ray, then an MRI. After all that, she diagnosed me with degenerative disc disease. Sounds really bad, doesn't it? It's not. My doctor said that two discs in my lower back, L4 and L5 maybe, are the problems. One has a tear and the other is pretty much gone. She gave me a ton of options for pain, but sometime between the x-ray and the MRI, my pain had just gradually disappeared. 

I'm back to wanting to work out. It's starting to get to humid to do much outside, but I'm still attempting. I'm pretty sure I've lost a few pounds in the month he has been home. I tend to gain all my weight in my midsection and I've noticed on more than one occasion that it's looked a tad smaller. Not in the you just woke up and haven't had anything to make you bloated yet smaller either. This could be due to the lack of fast food in my diet, the dinners I've been cooking almost every night, or the soda I've cut  back on. Either way, who cares cause I finally lost a few pounds!!

MilSpouse Friday Fill-in

1. What's one thing in the past month you would have changed?
There isn't anything I can think of off the top of my head. I try not to regret things though, there is no point. 

2. What was your favorite thing that happened in May?
Hubby came home! The deployment is over and we are readjusting to our previous normal. There were some other things, like my birthday, but I think him coming home from Afghanistan tops it all.

3. June includes the first day of summer...what are your plans for the summer?
June is busy...Little Man's birthday party, a camping trip, a girl's weekend for me, a few other things. Then he goes on block leave. We don't have any big plans yet, but I want to go ziplining at the Forest Adventure Park and a few other things.

4. Do you use the services on base (gym, financial planning, family services, daycare)? And if so, what's your favorite one?
I didn't use any when we lived in the States. I do use some things now. The CDC for hourly care, some of the entertainment and recreation stuff, youth sports, and a few other things here and there. They tend to offer a lot more here, so it's dumb not to take advantage of it.


5. What are you looking forward to in June?
I'm really looking forward to my weekend away. 2 days and 1 night away, no kids, no husband, and with friends? It's a much needed break for me after this deployment. We are also going somewhere that I haven't been before, so I think it'll be lots of fun, just cross your fingers it doesn't rain on us.

Redeployment Adjustments

My husband is home. Yea for the end of this deployment!

I love my husband more than anything and I'm so glad he is home. It feels like he was never gone. We've gotten back into the normal routine without any major problems. Except the fact that he is messing up my routine!! I know, I know. It's really not that bad. We talked about this a while ago and I flat out told him I was going to have a hard time getting used to having to take another person's opinion into account. I'm so used to doing what I want to do. Normally what I want to do involves the kids, but I say get in the car and we go. Now, I have to ask what he wants to do, then wait for him so we can all leave. Not a big deal, but when you aren't used to that, it's a big deal. The kids and I had made adventures of our weekends the past 7 months by finding new parks and exploring the island. When I want to do something, I want to do it. I don't want to wait 3 hours for someone else. I am also not a big fan of sitting around on the weekends. Lets do something! Anything! Take the kids to the park, drive around aimlessly, go to the beach, whatever! This really isn't anything new though. He wants to relax on the weekends after working long hours all week and I want to have family time, outside the house. We are working on finding a happy medium on this.

Let's see...what else did he annoy me about today? He dried a shirt that I told him not to, he filled the tub in the kitchen sink up with water and let the dishes sit over night (I know, but it annoys me. It's not like it's pots and pans soaking, it's plates and cups, then I just have to empty the tub when I wash dishes and all the dishes fall out and it just annoys me), and he left his clothes on the floor when he undressed for bed.

I know. What am I complaining about? This is stuff he has always done. It's never really bothered me before. I just have to get used to the work of an extra person. Yes, I'll have to do laundry more often. Yes, I'll have to empty tobacco spit bottles. Yes, I'll actually have to cook (I'm excited to have someone to cook for who'll appreciate it. The kids are happy with chicken nuggets).

It's not always an easy adjustment when they return from a deployment. He and I talked about this in advance though and thankfully, we both realize our issues. I didn't however tell him any of these things were annoying me (besides the leaving the house/family time thing. He knows about that one). It's petty and not worth it. I'll get over it soon enough and get used to it. I'd much rather hug it out to get over my annoyance than to throw it in his face. Yea for being able to hug him!

JollyBox

When hubby deployed last fall, I planned to send him a card or letter every week and a package once a month. Right after he left, I headed to the PX and spent a good hour picking out cards. I wanted cute, humorous cards that talked about loving him and missing him. I probably  bought about 20 cards. I wanted to make sure I mailed him one every week. I had no problems sending packages at first. It was easy to think of things and he kept telling me things he needed, making it even easier. Halfway through the deployment, I was hard up for ideas. I felt like I was sending him the same thing over and over. 

When I got an email about Jollybox last week, I was a little peeved that I hadn't heard about them sooner. For a flat fee of $25, they will send the care package for you. Each month is themed, so no one is getting the same thing month to month. 

For June, military receive the 'Refuel' package.

College students will receive the 'Movie Night' box.

Packages can also be customized. Fill out a profile and let Jollybox know the recipients favorite colors, movie genres, food choices (and allergies), pant sizes, shirt sizes, etc. A personalized note will be included with each box. You can change it each month if you want.

When I first saw the price, I thought $25 was kind of expensive. The more I thought about it though, $25 isn't bad at all. I figure I would spend at least $11 something on shipping (the price of the USPS medium flat rate box). Then I always end up spending WAY more than I plan to on the goodies inside the box. All in all, not a bad deal. 

Right now, you can get $10 off your first month. 

Enter the code FIRST10 at checkout.

Let me know if you send a package!

I think this is an awesome idea and anyone would love to receive one.

It's Finally Over!

If you haven't already figured it out, my husband is home. 

This deployment is finally over!!

After multiple time changes and a location change, we were told they would be arriving at 10:30 p.m.

Little Man was wide awake, but Little Missy had been passed out since 8. Poor girl. We got there about 45 minutes early. Little Missy perked up as soon as she saw the bouncy house waiting for her. It was a relatively small group with lots of single guys, so there wasn't a whole lot of spouses and families there. There were a lot of new babies though!

The FRO said basically the buses would pull up, the guys would get off and they were ours. No formation, no speaking, nothing. We watched the buses pull up and I started scanning the guys trying to find my husband. I saw a few friend's husbands, but not mine. I had just said something to Little Missy about looking for him, then I looked up and he was almost in front of me. I said 'there's your Daddy, go get him!' and she almost ran right past him. It's hard when they are all dressed alike. The kids were super excited to see him. I tried to take as many pictures as I could, but they were seriously lacking. A friend was originally going to go with me and take pictures, but when the time got moved so late, I told her not to worry about it.

After lots of hugs and handshakes, we headed to the barracks to wait on his bags. An hour later, with no bags in site, we headed home. It was after 12:30 when we finally got home. Hubby is getting himself settled back in at home again. It kinda feels like he never left. The kids haven't had any issues with him being here. I'm sure things will spring up later when he gets on to them for things I let them get away with. Little Missy doesn't like to let him out of her site though. She asked me where he was numerous times while we were waiting at the barracks and she still isn't quite satisfied if she can't see him. All is good now and we are just happy to have him home!

Welcome Home Daddy!

My Husband's View - Military Spouse Appreciation Day

For Military Spouse Appreciation Day, instead of me writing about how great us spouses are, I asked hubby to write a little something. I thought it would be nice to have the guy's point of view telling us how wonderful we are instead of us doing it ourselves (conceited much?).

Surprisingly, he agreed. I thought he was going to write a little something about this deployment, but he went way above and beyond my expectations. My husband isn't a big feelings kind of guy, so this is that much more special to me. You'll get what I mean.

My Marine Wife

by My Husband

I met my wife in Missouri. I am a Southern California man that had no time for a woman in my life and I was full of myself. I had horrible experiences with women. I always wanted the ones I couldn’t have and didn’t want anything to do with the ones who wanted me. I did not know it at the time that she would be the one for me.
    It started out typically with little courtship. We would get together from time to time to keep loneliness at bay. Both not wanting to much drama in each other’s life, but needing the little things a man and woman could provide each other. Then one day as I pulled into a gas station to fill my truck up with diesel, I got the phone call that would change our lives and introduce something to me that would change my ways. “I am pregnant”!  I am sure of this, that the good Lord was laughing his ass off when he chose this moment in my life, to change it.
    At first I was still hesitant of committing to her even though I knew that I could not break the solemn vow I had for myself a long time ago. My vow was simple. If I ever was going to have a child with a woman, then I would be with her no matter what because I did not want the child to experience the things I have experienced in my life without a father. That was until May of 1994 when I finally had a father in my life. I still had doubts in my mind about this. I was scared to say the least. Were my days out on the range done?  Was I destined to be miserable and settle for a life because of my vow? Because of my own fears, I am sure that I put my wife through unnecessary stresses during her pregnancy.
    After my daughter was born all of my fears went away. I was consumed with my new life and the excitement it brought. I guess it took for me to knock someone up to overcome my insecurities and be the man that I always wanted to be. I know that sounds terrible, but it is true. I remembered that my mother had told me that I need to sure that my partner would be my best friend. Kara was. She is the opposite of me, creating a perfect balance for our family. The rest they say is history.
    We moved to Okinawa from Missouri and that was enough to put undue stress taking my wife away from all she has ever known. She would no longer be able to talk her friends and family whenever she wanted. She would have to sacrifice everything that she had for the sake of our family. If you are not military, you will never understand that. I don’t think I am greater than you, just plainly pointing out a fact. There were difficulties in adjusting to not only a new duty station, but a new country. But my wife always found the positive in everything. Of course she had her moments, but she always came out with a smile of every situation.
    My wife had been married before to an Army soldier. She had a little experience with the military life, but the Army is nothing like the Marine Corps, as she soon learned. I had warned her that I was the type of Marine that would answer Uncle Sam’s call without even blinking an eye. I know that family is more important than the Corps, but if I am going to call myself a Marine, then I must earn the title each and every day.  That means deploying with my Marines, and leaving my family. If I was to call myself a husband and father, I must set the example for my family to emulate. If I do not, then I cannot look them in their eyes. So off I went to Afghanistan. This would be my first deployment as a husband and father, and her first with someone that actually would be truly be put in harm’s way.
    During this deployment she has had more than her share of things not going the way they are supposed to go. I am sure you all are aware of them from this blog. I would read her blog from time to time to find out what was going in her world when I would come back inside the wire. I would get so pissed off at things that would happen to her and I felt that I was responsible for putting her in those situations. She would say that she is not worried and that I shouldn’t either. I know she would say that so I could keep the right frame of mind to do what I do. But I knew in her voice that she was a one legged person in ass kicking contest. Of course my demon seed was not helping. (I am referring to my daughter who is 3 years old and is the source of all my collective sins) She broke this, and lost that. Again, I was feeling empathetic towards her frequent visits with Murphy’s Law.
    My deployment is almost over and my eyes water to the thought of holding my wife and kids. But I will fight it back because I am NOT home yet. Kara is my HERO, and I could not have done this without her unquestioned strength, and courage she has displayed time and time again. She is my best friend and she takes care of me like no other could. I am pretty much impossible to deal with and I know it. She knows that I will never change, and that alone makes her my HERO!
    I know that she has lost sleep, wept overwhelming tears, and questioned why she is doing all this by herself overseas, while her husband gets to play in the dirt with his weapons. I am amazed at her strength, her loyalty, and love for this family! I don’t think that I know how to explain it on a document, or whether or not it does her justice. So I will plagiarize the shit out of this poem that sums up my appreciation for her and tells it better than I ever could.

The Marine wife~
---- Author Unknown

The good Lord was creating a model for Marine wives and was into His sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared. She said, "Lord, you seem to be having a lot of trouble with this one. What's wrong with the standard model?"
The Lord replied, "Have you seen the specs on this order. She has to be completely independent, possess the qualities of both a father and mother, be a perfect hostess to four or forty with an hour's notice, run on black coffee, handle every emergency imaginable without a manual, be able to carry on cheerfully, even if she is pregnant and has the flu, and she must be willing to move to a new location ten times in seventeen years. And, oh yes, she must have six pairs of hands!"
The angel shook her head, "Six pairs of hands? No way.
“The Lord continued, “Don’t worry, I will make other Marine wives to help her. And I will give her an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride in her husband's achievements, sustain the pain of separations, beat soundly when it is overworked and tired, and be large enough to say, 'I understand' when she doesn't and say 'I love you', regardless."
"Lord," said the angel, touching his arm gently. "Go to bed and get some rest. You can finish this tomorrow."
"I can't stop now," said the Lord. "I am so close to creating something unique. Already this model heals herself when she is sick, can put up six unexpected guests for the weekend, wave good-bye to her husband from a pier, a runway or a depot, and understand why it's important that he leave."
The angel circled the model of the Marine wife, looked at it closely and sighed, "It looks fine, but it's too soft."
"She might look soft," replied the Lord. "But she has the strength of a lion. You would not believe what she can endure."
Finally the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Lord's creation. "There's a leak," she announced. "Something is wrong with the construction. I am not surprised that it has cracked. You are trying to put too much into this model."
The Lord appeared offended at the angel's lack of confidence."What you see is not a leak," He said. "It's a tear." "A tear?" What is it there for?" asked the angel.
The Lord replied, "It's for joy, sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness, pride and a dedication to all the values that she and her husband hold dear."
"You are a genius!" exclaimed the angel.
The Lord looked puzzled and replied, "I didn't put it there."

Miscellaneous Monday

1. These have been arriving for the past month or so. I guess he ran out of footlockers since I've also gotten a couple of big boxes in the mail too. We all know what footlockers in the mail mean!!!

2. I've also starting doing all that other stuff to prepare for his homecoming. I've made appointments to get a pedicure (not that he cares what my toes look like) and various waxes. I have a couple dresses that he hasn't seen yet, so I'll wear one, depending on my mood that day. Recipes and grocery lists are being mentally planned and I've thought about having someone clean the house, but I might run out of time.

3. Last week, Little Missy lost my phone. It was inconvenient not being able to call anyone, but it wasn't really that bad. You know what I missed the most though? Instagram. Is that completely weird? I kept seeing things to take pictures of, but then I would remember I didn't have my phone. At the most, I put pics on there once, maybe twice a day, so it was kinda weird that I missed it that much. Dang social media addictions. Come follow me if you are on there. RofaMW.

4. I finally took the plunge and got rid of the dot blogspot on my blog address. It's now just www.ramblingsofamarinewife.com. It's about dang time too.

5. The giveaway for the New Year's Eve DVD ends on Wednesday. Go enter. Now.

My Military Children

Last night while we were watching TV, a commercial came on for the Month of the Military Child. Little Man said they had talked about it at school and they did work on it. I asked what and he said they had to finish this sentence: I like being a military child because...

My son answered it by saying 'because he got to move to Okinawa'.

I asked him what it means to him having a dad in the military.

His answer?

My dad saves the world.

This morning, I asked Little Missy the same question

Me: What does it mean that your daddy is a Marine?

Little Missy: He shoots bad guys.

Me: What else?

LM: He punches em!

Me: Okay...

LM: In the face! He kicks em!

Okay. My children have an odd view of what their father does.

Little Missy is all about killing bad guys and it probably doesn't help that the picture on her daddy doll is her dad with a rifle over one shoulder and a pistol holstered.

It's funny how they perceive things though.

Little Man has a pretty good understanding of why hubby is deployed. We've talked about it and I've explained it to him the best I can. I don't know that we've ever talked about what else he does when he isn't deployed. I need to do that. Little Missy just thinks he is at work. How else do you explain to a 2 year old, now 3 year old of where her daddy is?

Missing Him

It's been raining here all night. Lightning, thunder, the works. It rains here a lot, but we rarely get thunder and lightning. I love storms like these. Reminds me of a good midwest thunderstorm. I always want to go outside and sit on my porch during these storms and just experience it. Preferably with my husband.

Days are easy. I'm not with him during the day when he is home. Nights are usually easy until I go to bed. Nights like these really make me miss him though. The satellite has been going in and out, so I turned the TV off and I've been reading. It's not even that I want someone to talk to at night, I just want him physically here. I want the presence of another person in the house. I want to look over and see him playing computer games or watch a tv show with him.

I haven't broke down and cried too much during this deployment. When I do, it's usually because I'm so stressed and something just sets me off. Tonight, I just miss him.

Worrying During Deployments

A kid (he was a kid, he wasn't that far out of school) came into the office today. The poor guy was on crutches, so I asked what he did. He said it was from an IED in Afghanistan. We talked for a bit and come to find out, he was in my husband's unit. I had a few seconds where I almost teared up, but I caught myself and moved the conversation on. That hit close to him.  He was ok and all injuries looked like they would heal without any lasting problems, but still.

I haven't had problems with this the whole time hubby has been deployed. I usually leave the news on at night, so I hear if anything major happened in Afghanistan. I've heard reports of IED instances, but they don't worry me. Weird as this sounds, if something were to happen to hubby, this is the last thing I would think of. I'm pretty sure a helicopter crash would take him first. I told him that too and he said I was probably right. There have been helicopter crashes too, but the thought has never crossed my mind that it could be him. He has always told me that he came into this world with an expiration date stamped on his forehead. I do believe that. I don't know why that little sliver of worry and doubt don't enter my mind though. I'm not one to worry about things until there is something to worry about, which I think is my saving grace. I don't think I'm unrealistic, I am fully aware of what could happen. We all are. I don't worry when a blocked number pops up on my phone or when my door bell rings. The thought just doesn't cross my mind. I know some women have the thought pop in their head in when the doorbell rings, even if the thought is gone as fast as it came, it was still there.

Am I in the minority on this one? I feel like everyone, as expected, always worries during deployments and I just don't. I wish that my husband was home, I hate being separated and God knows I don't want anything to happen to him, but I don't worry about him.

The Greatest Compliment

My mother-in-law sent me an email yesterday. It said:
"This is that article that I told you about. I thought of you when I read it.
I want you to know that I consider you my hero also,  not just my son. You have sacrificed and been strong thru this deployment, while in a strange country with no family to help. Even during the rough times you have shown courage and grace. I truly admire you and I love you."

My father-in-law is retired Air Force. He was deployed to Iraq a few years ago, so she totally gets it. Could I have a better mother-in-law though?

I couldn't find the article on line, so I typed it up for you.

Soldiering On
by Jessie Knadler

The Other Day, my husband and I were engaged in a video chat, tethered across 7,000 miles of ocean, sand, and war by a computer screen, having one of those quotidian domestic chats that make up a marriage. "So, how are things on the home front?" Jake asked. My husband is a captain in the Army Reserve. He is currently serving his third deployment, this time to Afghanistan, while I stay home on our eight-acre chicken farm in rural Virginia, raising our 16-month-old daughter.
Answering Jake's question honestly requires some conversational pole-vaulting: Enduring his deployment while I'm on a farm with no family around pretty much sucks, but the last thing I want to do is invite pity.
Because one thing I've learned since becoming a military wife (to be honest, I didn't think that's what I was becoming when I married Jake six years ago, but that's what happens when your husband is a member of an all-volunteer army stretched way too thin) is that no one wants to hear about what it's like lugging a wriggling toddler down to the mobile chicken house only to discover some of the hens are eating their own eggs again. No one wants the play-by-play of trying to quickly build a fire in the outdoor wood furnace when it's 20 degrees while praying my daughter isn't electrocuting herself unattended in the house. And nobody particularly cares about the dread I experience having to bring the car in for repairs, not because it means losing my wheels but because it means having to remove the car seat, a task that, for me, induces soul-crushing madness.
Nobody wants to hear about my First World problems, in other words. And by "nobody" I think I'm actually referring to my husband. Jake is that rare subset of the human species who is equal parts G.I. Joe, Superman, and Woody from Toy Story - a strong "grin and bear it" sort of guy who also regularly writes touching letters to our mothers and grandmothers back home. Complaining is just not part of his genetic make-up, even as he endures distinctly Third World problems like roadside bombs and eating the equivalent of prison food.
This is why I meant to respond to his question with "Everything is fine, babe!" Except the months of single parenting and lonely nights playing Words with Friends on my iPhone must have gotten to me, because instead of what came out was a laundry list of everything that's been wearing me down: the bills, the isolation, our daughter's incessant cold, the broken car, the firewood, the feeling that I'm imposing on friends when I ask for help, and how many times can one mother unload the Diaper Genie?
Eventually, Jake cut in. "Well, what would you like me to do about it?" he asked. An innocent question, except the months of raw emotions caused me to interpret it as, "Well, what do you want me to do about it?!?!" I was both offended at the implication that my problems were unworthy of a sympathetic ear from my own husband and chastened for burdening him - a soldier fighting in Afghanistan! - with my petty gripes. The two clashing emotions left me feeling somewhere in the middle - numb.
As the months since Jake left creep toward a year, I'm reminded there's little glory in holding down the home front. All the honor goes to the soldiers, as it should. But sometimes, I wish I was the one who got deployed. At least in Afghanistan there's the adrenaline rush of being a foreign land trying to win hearts and minds, whereas my sacrifices are comparatively lame: paying bills, farm chores, cleaning up all the vomit ever spewed by this child. You know, the tedious stuff that makes up a family and a home. I'm sure this is something military spouses through history have experienced: claiming "everything is fine" in letters to their soldiers. The difference now, in 2012, is that I have the privilege of being able to talk to my husband every day over Google Chat. But that also means the challenge of saying "everything is fine" is a daily one.

Miscellaneous Monday

We were given the date for the last day to send mail to Afghanistan. He'll be home before I know it! I need to find something to wear and start getting all gorgeous (you know, pedicure, eyebrows, and other things waxed)!

My mom and sister are coming! Again! They've both been here once already. Since we did a lot of touristy stuff last time, this trip we are going to eat, hang out at the beach, and eat some more. I just made hotel reservations for my sis and I to stay on Kokusai Street in Naha. We can shop, eat, possibly drink a bit, and not have to worry about the kids or driving home!

Little Man had his first soccer game this weekend. The entire team did great! I was so proud of Little Man though. He paid attention, made an effort, and even got to be goalie for a bit. He did so good! I didn't think the teams attention span would hold, they are all 5 and 6, but they did really good overall and made a great effort. They lost, but they don't keep score, so I don't think the kids even noticed.

For anyone that has a loved one deployed, check out Operation: Hi Honey! You can get a free picture on canvas for your wife or mom. Hubby signed up and we got the email that we were approved and our canvas is being made. I haven't received it yet, but hopefully soon! 

My daughter is a hoot. She has claimed one of hubby's t-shirts as her own and wears it around the house. She really misses her dad. I'm thinking she is going to attack him when he gets home and then not leave his side!

As of March 24, this blog is 2 years old. That's completely crazy. It has totally changed focus since I started it, but I'm still going strong. I'm not to far away from 1000 posts!

Murphy's Law Is In Full Force

This was my yesterday.

Three or four weeks ago, I got hubby's van fixed.

I knew there was something wrong with it.

It was drivable, but I just left it parked until he nagged me enough to take it in.

Roughly $500 and a tow later, it was fixed. 

Fast forward to last week. 

I was backing my van into my parking space, in my parking lot, and something happened.

The check engine light came on, the drive light on the dash started flashing, even though I was in reverse, and it smelled like something was burning.

Fun.

I did some extensive googling and it may possibly be the transmission.

I let it sit and didn't drive it again until yesterday.

I drove it to base to take it to the shop and have them look at it.

It started doing the same crap again on my way there. 

Took it to the shop and they wouldn't look at it.

How long does it take to hook it up to one of those things to read the codes?

I had to make an appointment. 

For March 28.

Whatever, I left. 

I could tell it was wanting to die when I slowed down, so I made rolling stops all over base.

When I got to the gate, I had to stop. 

There were 2 cars in front of me waiting for the light.

It died on me. 

I started it back up, it died again.

I got out to tell the gate guard what was going on.

 I got it started enough to move it to the side and it died again.

Good thing I get free towing while hubby is deployed!!!

Called the tow truck, it was the same guy.

A friend came and got me and took us home.

I went back to the shop today, just a wee bit pissed.

They'll look at it when they can.

She couldn't give me a day even, but said it would probably be before my appointment on the 28th.

Too bad I can't just have them tow it to another base.

I'm thinking it's not going to be worth fixing.

The van is 16 years old and we bought it for $1K.

It's crappy even for Okinawa.

All the money we've been saving while he is deployed and it's probably going to be spent on a new car.

It was almost to 200,000 km too.

It's been one thing after another the past few weeks.

The first half of this deployment was a breeze and now it's kicking my ass.

Miscellaneous Monday

I think I've finally recovered from the Command Financial Specialist class last week. Geez. After the first 2 days, it was really informative and I enjoyed it. It was just the getting up at 5:30, getting the kids and I ready, then not getting home till 6 most nights. That's no fun. I still unsure of how I used to do it without a problem. Actually, I know how I used to do it. I didn't have a crazy 3 year old.

This deployment is closer to being over than starting! It's gone by really fast. Hubby gave me a number the other day of how many days till he gets home. I think that number was a bit optimistic, but he would know better than me. 

Speaking of deployments, I finally got Little Missy into the CDC today to take advantage of the free daycare I get while he is deployed. It's about time. She had a blast though. I don't know what they did to her, but she was napping when I got there. I gave up trying to get her to nap. I'm going to take full advantage of them though. My  main sitter can't watch her anymore and my backup got a job. I go through sitters faster than anything. They all either move or get a job. 

Okinawa doesn't do daylight savings time. It's great. And now it is only a 14 hour time difference to CST.